When I began to type this blog out this morning, I had a different vision for how I wanted this to be written. I had every intention to write about how lately the Lord has been teaching me how to surrender this spirit of hurry I’ve picked up since being back home. But as I began to type, nothing flowed how I wanted it to. The picture the Lord has painted in my life about living with a spirit of ‘slow and steady’ instead of ‘fast and hurry’ wasn’t being portrayed as beautifully as I believe it should be.
So I took a break. I stepped away from my computer and began to prayerfully process how this blog could be written. That’s when I heard the Lord give me a new vision for how this blog can be approached.
Instead of writing about one topic and share the powerful teachings He has been giving me the past three weeks, He’s prompted me to write about all the miracles He performed in my life since being home!
So that’s exactly what this blog is. It’s a few testimonies of how He’s shown up for me and my hope is that through reading this you are encouraged by the reality of how He wants to show up for you too. Wherever you are, whatever you’re facing, He simply just wants to love you. He wants to meet you right where you are, take you into His loving arms, and cover you with His love.
I hope these stories aren’t just stories. I hope these words come off the screen you’re reading this on, touch your heart, open your mind, and turn your eyes to your Heavenly father who passionately loves you.
Emotional Comfort
As I shared in my last blog post, I am squad leading in January! While I’m beyond excited to have this opportunity, I want to be transparent about the process of saying yes to the Lord, applying for the chance, and the spiritual battle I faced in the waiting.
On September 16th I had my phone interview. I went into that call excited but a tad bit nervous. I answered the call with great joy but with every question asked and every failed attempt to answer the question well, I began to lose all excitement and that nervousness began to feel a lot like the anxiety I once carried. By the end of the call, I felt like I failed. I felt like I absolutely blew it. My emotions and thoughts, being fueled by anxiety, were reassuring me of how big of a failure I am, that I ruined God’s call on my life, and the enemy began to tell me that I am the same broken, useless girl that I have always been and on top of that, I don’t hear from the Lord because how can I claim that He spoke squad leading to me and yet ruin the chance to do it?
My spirit immediately began to reject those lies. To paint a picture, it was like my spirit was babysitting my thoughts and emotions. I couldn’t tame them but my spirit was fighting against the lies being spoken over me anyway. It felt like absolute chaos.
As I sat on the floor of my living room, feeling the emotional need to cry but spiritually not wanting to assume the worst of a situation the Lord has the final say on, I began to speak out loud the Lord’s identity and promises.
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
“I have you in the palm of my hand.”
“I have washed you in my blood; Behold, the old has passed away, I have made all things new.”
“You’re my temple, my dwelling place. I delight in communing with you.”
“My sheep know my voice.”
“I qualify the called.”
“My beloved, you are safe. I love you.”
As I began to cry because of the encouragement I was receiving from my sweet Lord, He hugged me close into His arms and whispered, “Old lies don’t work on a new creation. Hanna, I’ve made you new.”
Instantaneous peace fell on me.
The Lord met me on the floor of my living room and reminded me we have His Holy Spirit to be our helper. When in moments I need the physical comfort from my Lord and Savior, He’s made a way to be here. Through His Spirit, I got the hug I needed to feel seen and cared for. Through His Spirit, I heard the tender affirmation I needed from the one who created me in His image. Through His Spirit, I had the helping hand I needed to be picked up off the floor when I was knocked down.
He loves without measure.
Financial Provision
Last week, I began to look into the possibility of creating a shirt for fundraising. I had a friend help me sketch out my idea and put it on a shirt so I could have a visual of it. At first, I loved it! I was ready to post it and let everyone see it, buy it, and wear it. But the more time I gave it, the less I loved it. I began to feel like the Lord was telling me “no” and by the end of the day, I let go of the idea. Come Thursday, it was brought to my attention (by the enemy through anxiety) I haven’t received a single donation since sharing the news of squad leading.
So there I was again on my living room floor, I began to pray and ask the Lord how He wants me to go about fundraising. Last year when I was fundraising $17,700, He told me to simply ask for prayer and He would bring the funds. Within 9 months, He did just that. So again, I wanted to create a space for Him to lead and provide financially.
I didn’t hear anything specific in that moment but I was reminded of His character and how He provides for His people. That morning when I sat on the floor praying for His provision, I had no idea the blessing He already had coming my way.
That night while I was working, I received a text from my dad. It was a picture of a check that I received in the mail of $1,000 specifically for my trip. WITHIN A FEW HOURS, The Lord provided a third of my financial needs.
That’s it. That’s the whole story. I asked and He provided.
In reality, whether I asked or not, He was going to provide. That check was already in the mail and was already making its way to me because it’s always been His intention to provide for me. But how much sweeter that blessing was because I asked for help! How much more loved, cared for, and seen do I feel because instead of panicking over money, I asked Him to provide and I had faith that He would?!
Now, I don’t mean that in a ‘I’m so great, I gave the Lord space to move’ but rather ‘He’s so great, watch Him move regardless!’
A few days ago, I heard the Lord say this to me, “Oftentimes, in your humanness, you think you have the authority to ask me ‘How?’ when in reality, that’s not a consideration for me, the One who’s calling you to go.”
I’ve been watching the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and with that word He spoke to me, He began to paint this picture of a ship and it’s crew. The captain of the ship speaks and the crew acts. There’s no questioning, especially in times of war. The crew doesn’t ask “How?” or “Why?”, they say “Aye, Cap’n!” and get to work. They trust the captain of the ship sees beyond what they can see from the lower deck.
The Lord used this picture to reposition my perspective on His truth. It’s not in my job description as a daughter of Christ and laborer of His harvest to ask Him how He’ll provide or how He plans to use me. It’s in my job description to submit with a willing spirit. And it’s in His job description as Lord of all, provider, and protector to take care of the rest.
Divine Encounters in Exchange for a Hurry Spirit
Two weeks ago, I went over to my good friend’s house for dinner. It was a sweet night of fellowship after being away for a year and I was able to share many of the stories I have from my overseas endeavors as well as catch up on all the things I missed while away.
As the conversation flowed, we began to talk about that spirit of hurry I mentioned before. We started sharing testimonies of how the Lord has been burdening our hearts to slow down so He can use us in His plan.
My friend’s mom shared, “I was at the grocery store down the road a few days ago. I was trying to hurry so I could get the few things I needed and get home to cook dinner. I’ve gotten in the habit of when someone crosses my mind, I pray for them. On my way to the store, a specific woman kept coming to mind. I kept praying for her but while I was at the store, I saw this bouquet of flowers and some cookies and I just felt the Lord lay it on my heart to buy them for this woman and take them to her house. I was in a hurry but I just couldn’t shake what the Lord was laying on my heart to do. So I bought the flowers and cookies, looked up her address, and made my way there. When I arrived, I sent her a text in hopes she’d be home but when she didn’t reply, I just walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. I walked in, shared how the Lord laid it on my heart to bring her this little gift, and told her I loved her and that I’m praying for her. This woman began to cry and share with me how that day had been an extremely hard day with it being the anniversary of losing a loved one and how that little act of kindness means more to her than words could express.”
Crying at the kitchen table, I was able to praise the Lord with my friend and her mom for how He welcomed her into that beautiful encounter with our Heavenly Father and friend that day. It painted this powerful picture of how He has divine encounters appointed for us each day, we just have to slow down to acknowledge and attend the appointments.
Gifts from a Good Father
For those of you who don’t know, I spilled a latte on my Macbook computer back in Colombia. I watched my keyboard soak up every ounce of soy milk and slowly watched my computer screen fade to black as it took its final breath. *dramatic description for a dramatic moment*
In this story, there’s a million little miracles that point my perspective back to the goodness of God. The day before this happened, I had just backed up all my photos and videos onto an external hard drive, therefore nothing was lost. I had two incredible teammates who let me borrow their computers any time I needed so I never went without. Then, my mom even offered me the full amount of money needed to purchase a new one.
Time and time again, the Lord provided for me so I wouldn’t have to go without. (Because that’s how good of a God He is!!)
That’s not where the story ends. I decided to not worry about buying a new computer until I returned home from the race. Since being home, my friend has given me her old computer to use until I’m able to buy a new one. Then, two weeks ago, my mom sent me the money needed for me to buy a new computer. I’ve been praying over the process of what computer to buy as a form of discipline and surrender – I want to surrender this to the Lord and give Him the space and authority to lead and provide. I do that because I have watched Him provide before and I’m expectant He’ll provide for me again.
A week ago, I found an iPad I liked but just felt like I should wait for a better deal and more specifically a computer not a tablet. Then, yesterday I found a computer I really liked but it was over my budget by $80. It was on sale and it would be a good deal (considering it was $100 off the original price) but I just felt like the Lord said “wait”. So I did.
A big lesson the Lord has disciplined me in is what I do in the moments of waiting. Who I am and what I do in the moments of waiting on the Lord says more about my heart and character than anything else. So in that moment I heard “wait”, I prayed. I asked for His provision and declared that I trust His leadership in this process and trust that he will provide (like He has a million times before).
I woke up this morning and as I began to type on my friend’s old computer, it dawned on me that the only thing wrong with the Macbook is that it needs a new battery. So I began to google how much a battery replacement would be. I find that it would be much cheaper for me to buy this old computer from my friend and pay to replace the battery instead of buying a new computer.
I texted my friend, asking how much she would sell this old computer to me for, and she immediately responded with a text I never anticipated.
She said “You don’t need to pay me for anything. Consider it a donation to your kingdom work!”
With the money my mom gave me, I am able to pay for the battery replacement and still have money leftover for other financial needs.
Again, I’m taken care of. Again, the Lord provides a way for me to not go without. Again, the Lord showed up in a way I least expected. And again, a sweet friend the Lord blessed me with gets to be the vessel.
Miracles on miracles on miracles on miracles… A million miracles from the God of abundance.
Friends, look around and count all the blessings, count all the miracles, count all the ways the Lord is moving on your behalf. Take a moment to realize all the way He’s reaching down to love you. Slow down and show up to the divine encounters He has appointed for you today.
You’ve been created to commune with your Maker.
You are born to be loved by the One who breathed life into your bones.
You are clay in the hands of a Good Potter who admires His work.
